This week, my trainees who have been taking my class of emotional intelligence and I went out of the city to share personal stories.
One of my oldest trainees from this class was the first who shared his story.
In my guess, his age is around early 50's.
And he told us, that he has been harboring resentment towards his own brother for about 20 years.
His brother has borrowed money from him that he promised he would pay, but he never did.
This promise was made 20 years ago
After 20 years, my trainee is still resenting his brother for not keeping his promise.
All of the class was listening as this man poured out his pain.
I asked him.
Me: ‘Do you think you will be able to forgive your brother now? Not for his sake, but for yours?’
Him: ‘Oh yes! I already did.’
Me: ‘When? When did you decide to forgive him and what prompted you to do so?’
I was hoping that he would say it was my class which gave him a reason.
But, no, that is not what he said.
Him: ‘Last week, I was having a coffee break and my phone rang. Seeing that it was an international call, I picked it up quickly. It was from my daughter who lives in the United States.’
And then he stopped talking.
He looked like he was in pain.
I saw him trying to steady his breath.
Me: ‘Is she alright?’
Him: ‘No, she told me that the Doctors have told her that she has metastic breast cancer.’
All of us told him that we are very sorry.
But, he interrupted us saying:
Him: ‘No, I have learned from my daughter. When I heard my daughter’s voice as she tells me this tragic news, I was ashamed of the resentment I was carrying for so long.
My daughter is only 32 years old. And she is not resentful towards this sinister disease. She is going to fight it with all her spirits intact.’
Imagine while you are fighting that person who has hurt you, you are being attacked from within.
That the battle is almost always a losing one.
That the victors are the rogue cells that have decided to aggressively assault their host.
I ask you to imagine this, not because I want you to think of this dark thought even for a second, but I wish for you to realize:
Being caught up in the past means that you will never be able to focus on the present.
·Blaming others for your mistakes means that you will never learn from them.
·Choosing resentment instead of forgiveness, choosing hatred instead of love is costing you every day of your life.
·Focusing on what you don’t have means that you are forgetting what you do have.
·Living in a state of worry and stress all the time means that you have allowed your present moment to be stolen.
- Harbor ill thoughts.
- Let your past define your present.
- Engage in angry tantrums.
- Forget what you already have.
- Worry about what you cannot change.
- Carry resentments in your soul.
- Surround yourself with negative people.
- Let the past be in the past.
- Be grateful.
- Be compassionate.
- Love yourself.
- Be kind.
- Be humble.
- Look, really look to what you already have.
“Don’t wait for miracles, your whole life is a miracle.” Albert Einstein tweet
Originally published at https://banchiinspirations.com on February 28, 2019.