What are 20 things that are not worth it?
- Holding on to resentment, grudges, hate, and ill-thoughts.
You let yourself live in a toxic environment when you let these things to reside in you. Willingly. They are literally toxic. Let them go.
2. Compromising your health in the name of lack of time or “busyness”.
If you’ve let your door open for your education, job, business, and relationships but not for your health — you are paying a cost that is too high.
3. Staying on a path when it is failing us.
We often continue to commit to a path we’ve taken even after we’ve learned it’s not the best one for us. When the ship is sinking, jump ship!
4. Holding on to past.
You forget what is right in front of you when you relive your past again and again.
While you are thinking about “what has happened” and “ what has already passed”, your present moment is calling out to you — but you are deaf and blind to it. You do not hear its echo. You do not see its beauty.
5. Making “love” into a tit-for-tat situation.
Love Is Not A Quid Pro Quo. We fool ourselves into believing that we love when we have made “love” into a thing that keeps score. It is not.
Love is not ( I do it for you and therefore you should do it for me).
6. Trying to change others.
Let me tell you something that I tell myself every day like a mantra:
“I cannot change others, I can only change myself”.
Trying to change something that you have no control of is like sitting in the passenger seat of a car or at the back seat and trying to drive the car. You cannot. The driver is somebody else.
The basic cause of suffering isn’t that bad things happen. Bad things will always happen. People will always fall out of love or leave — in one way or another.
Our pain and hurt come not from change, but from our attachment.
“Attachment is the origin, the root of suffering; hence it is the cause of suffering.” — The Dalai Lama
8. Worrying about what others think.
We spend so much precious time over something that we have no control and to be frank we should not even give a damn about.
We care about others’ opinion more than ours.
9. Getting involved in useless arguments again and again.
A lion chooses its prey. Before going after what it wants, it spends some time choosing which specific prey it is going to attack. We don’t.
We usually do not select our battle- a battle that is worthy of our time and energy.
Rather than upholding ourselves to the highest standard, we put ourselves willingly into the whims of others. Again and again.
10. Allowing ego to walk in front of us.
Our does not have a good intention and yet we let it be.
You want to build your relationship and your ego says: “but you have no fault, “everything” is the other person’s fault” and you forget about patching up.
The same ego works in the same way in your attitude, personality, and communications with others.
You do not say “no” to your ego and you do not realize that you are effectively saying “no’ to your true self.
11. Not silencing your inner critic.
Considering the fact that the enemy exists inside and you are saying: “my boss is the problem”, “my education is the problem”, “my family is the problem”, “my partner is the problem”, “my country is the problem”.
This relentless blaming of others is not worth it. Take responsibility. Own your part. Start with your inner dialogue.
12. Holding toxic people and not letting go.
My friend, you spend so much of your time by not being able to say “ goodbye “ to that frenemy of yours.
You are fully responsible for the people you surround yourself with.
13. Comparing ourselves with others.
When you tell yourself that you have got to be better than “ that person “, you are forgetting an essential part of the equation that completely formulates the formula. It is you.
You are the one who makes and gives meaning to the formula that is your life. Look inside. That is where it’s at. Not outside.
14. Fixing other people’s problems.
You rob your friend of life experience when you try to fix his/her problem. Yes, be there for them, but do not fix their problem as if they are your own.
“When you try to solve people’s problems for them, you rob them of the most valuable teacher there is: discomfort.” Brianna Wiest
15. Whining about what you can’t control.
“I am getting old”, “what if his feelings change?”, “What if it rains in the weekend?”, “what if the boss does not like the way I dress?”, “What if — — — ?” This is utterly ridiculous. I would laugh if it was funny.
Stop whining about what you can’t control and do something about what you can.
16. Having a victim mindset.
That is not ok. Every successful person I know has sweated and worked long hours before reaching the light at the end of the tunnel.
You see yourself as a victim, you then have no desire and energy to get up from your couch. And with that mentality, any kind of “ success” will not knock on your door and say to you: “please let me in”.
It doesn’t work that way.
17. The desire to please people all the time.
You break your heart repeatedly when you try to achieve something that can never be achieved. It is not up to you to please others.
Let people own their own emotions. Who made you be their guardian?
In “Who Moved My Cheese?” book by Dr. Spencer Johnson, there are characters in the form of little people who refuse to accept the fact that their cheese is gone.
I don’t want to be like those little people who are moaning senselessly for their lost cheese.
I don’t want to be a person who is in agony of a boyfriend who is no longer a boyfriend. I don’t want to be a person who is crying over a lost promotion. I don’t want to be a person who is agonizing over lost time.
I won’t be.
What about you?
19. Feeling entitlement.
“I deserve the promotion”, “I deserve that gorgeous guy”, “I deserve the title”. Watch out. Are you saying these things with some distorted belief that others are beneath you?
Self-confidence is completely different from arrogance.
A good person never goes around saying “I’m a good person”, he shows his goodness through his actions.
If you live your life feeling entitled to “ everything “, you will be like the tree who was not planted correctly from its foundation. Even if the branches grow, the tree cannot stand on its own firmly and proudly.
It is terribly, terribly distorted.
20. Being a slacker.
You do not see the end of your path because you’ve slacked somewhere in your journey. You do not flourish your relationship because you’ve become indifferent. You’ve slacked. You do not improve your skills because you give too little. You’ve slacked.
Slacking is not worth it.
While slacking is existing and living happily within you, there is no chance that you can become your best. No chance.
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Originally published at http://quora.com.