How To Develop A Strong Presence and Personality
“People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou
· You want to walk into a room and grab people’s attention?
· You want heads to turn and conversations to open up in your presence?
· Do you want to build up the people around you?
· Do you want things to wind down when you leave your audiences ( that is not a good wish to have — to be the only one who has an impact on others)?
People who have strong presence and personality have a consistent manner of being.
We see them performing their thing, as if they are in a show.
And we expect any minute for the show to end and for us to see their performance end.
That never happens!
They are always in the show.
They have strong presence wherever they go. It is who they are.
We are allowed to say that.
They are not like the gardener who gets up early in the morning to fix his yard. With great gusto this gardener lines up his tools and prepares to cut, trim and prune. Guess what?
He does not do — what he has set out to do.
Because within a couple of minutes, he finds something that grabs his attention.
That could be a neighbor or a phone call.
So, what happens to his yard work?
The gardener orders someone in his home to put his tools away.
Nothing and no one takes away the attention of those people who have strong presence.
They always exude strong personality.
Grabbing the attention of everyone around them is not a one-time thing or an occasional thing for them.
It is an always thing.
The followings are pleasant ways to develop a strong presence& personality: #1. Get to know yourself first
Isn’t this a pleasant way to start your journey in developing your personality and having a strong presence by getting to know yourself first?
Strive to be yourself only.
You cannot be any other person in the world.
You may aspire to be exactly like that person who always walks into a room & everybody turns their head in his/her direction.
What you are desiring & aspiring to be is an inspiring one, but there is one problem.
You have not asked who you are in the process.
You can ask & you must ask those people who have a strong presence ‘ how they have developed their presence ‘.
And, you should use that information to learn from them (& even copy their method) but not to be them.
As all of us are different, find out who you are:
· What are your strengths?
· What are your weaknesses?
At the end of the day, you can only be yourself!
#2. Intention matters
Why do you want to develop strong personality?
Think deeply on your reasons.
Take even few days to talk to yourself on the real reason why you want a strong presence around people.
If your intention is not good (to mean that, you just want the attention of your audience for the sake of it — not to give what you have), then you are in the wrong road.
The universe seems to conspire against those who have no good intentions.
It is mostly those people who have a true desire of giving out their thoughts, feelings, knowledge and experience to others with an intention of spreading out good things to the world that will have a strong presence wherever they go.
#3. Think positive
Nobody wants to be around a negative person for a long time!
Unless it is absolutely necessary to be around a negative person, you would not sit down next to that person and wait for what he/she has to say.
Have you noticed how people with strong presence attract many people towards them all the time?
People are very much reluctant to leave their side, even if they have somewhere else to be.
The key ingredient in this attraction, is their positivity.
Positive thoughts & vibes attract people.
#4. Take time to read
People who have a strong presence have always something to say on almost anything, not a meaningless thing but a meaningful one.
Where do you think they found — what to say?
They were not born with it. no one is born with it.
They accumulated ( throughout the years) through people ( because they actively listen) and from those precious things called — books ).
People who grab the attention of their audience have a habit of reading on everything & anything.
They do not ramble.
They do not get off track.
So, copy their method.
Not only on what you love, but on what you do not like as well.
How are you able to convince someone (a lot of someone’s) why you don’t like a particular thing?
Are you just going to say ‘ I don’t like this thing that is all!’?
That is not going to work at all. It is not going to work for a classroom assignment let alone to developing a strong personality.
So, read as many books as possible.
Quality & Quantity — both are important in your reading habit.
One day — you will realize that your mind has become a knowledge map.
When you find yourself in conversations related to something, your brain brings out related things in front of you.
#5. Take weakness as an opportunity
I have a colleague who has a strong presence and personality everywhere he goes.
He does not speak English fluently ( English is our second language, our mother tongue is Amharic — official language of Ethiopia).
And yet, he has no fear of giving training in English to foreigners.
He is able to deliver what he knows with an amazing influence on others.
He has taken his weakness as an opportunity to improve himself.
Through the years, I have seen him develop and grow his personality.
Only because he has grabbed his weakness and worked on it.
What is your weakness?
Find out specifically what it is and take it as an opportunity to develop strong presence around you.
#6. Be aware of what is going on inside your head
Lots & lots & lots of things are going on inside our head all the time.
If you cannot make a structure of these things, your mind will be a clutter — a clutter where you cannot make sense out of.
So, train yourself to be conscious of what is going on inside your head as well as what is happening around you.
When you are in the presence of others, train yourself:
· To be in the moment,
· To leave worries behind,
· To focus on your audience &
· To get out of your head.
#7. Develop confidence
You have to face the world with your head high and a desire to conquer it.
Of course, it is not as easy as that sounds like.
You might feel frustrated that only certain people have the confidence to exude strong personality.
But that is not true. Everyone can learn to be confident, just like learning any new thing.
All those people who have a strong presence have not been born with confidence!
Where did the confidence come from then?
From their desire.
Once, you acknowledge your strong desire to be confident you can practice certain things to make yourself learn the ways of the experts.
If developing self-confidence & self-esteem is a subject you’re interested in, I’ve written an answer about it on Quora. You can read it here.
#8. Use the appropriate body language
You should learn to recognize emotional reaction in your body.
Your body speaks more loudly than any of your words combined together.
Body language is a whole subject by itself.
You should give the attention it deserves.
· Read a book about it,
· Observe the body language of those you want to emulate &
· Practice on yourself.
Have you detected a person who is stiff & nervous is never received well by others?
That includes — even if that person has a knowledge as wide as the sky.
Who is going to listen to a word from that person when he is exhibiting stiffness and is flippant?
Tips for developing appropriate body language!
· Watch your body posture — practice using an open, assertive body language & voice.
· Think before you speak.
Take a few minutes to make sure what you are going to convey through your words is expressed through your body language as well.
· Be patient — learning appropriate body language takes time and it will feel awkward at first.
· Practice leads to improvement.
· Recognize & validate yourself for improvement.
#9. Look everyone in the eye
To develop a strong presence around you, you must practice looking people in the eye.
Practice fixing your eye with an intensity that draws people’s attention.
Looking directly at people has a tremendous advantage of making them important.
They feel valued.
You know what the greatest weapon available in the world is to making everyone you meet as important & special?
Fix your eyes on the person you are having conversations with.
Transform the same intensity on every individual involved.
Do that and you would have conquered the war of winning on ‘ how to develop a strong presence & personality ‘.
#10 Tune in to what people need from you
What do you do to your radio to get perfect clarity of sound and voice?
You tune in!
In order to get the attention of your audience, observe beforehand:
· What their mood is in that moment?
· Do they seem to want to speak or be listened to?
· Do they seem to want to be left alone?
Adjust your frequency according to the mood of your audience.
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Originally published at http://quora.com.