A passionate Writer. An irreverent personal development trainer. Blogger at https://banchiinspirations.com. I am on a mission to write sparkling blog posts.

8 Important lessons.

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I will never forget the time when a white colleague said to me, “When I look at you, I don’t see color. I don’t see you as a black person.” He was saying, “Race doesn’t matter to me. I am not a racist.” But I heard, “I am denying a big part of who you are and your experiences.”

He pissed me off.

When I asked him to explain his statement, he said he wanted me to belong. To be part of a team.

He’s not the only one who had bias without intention. One time, a white colleague asked me out on a date. He shocked the hell out of me when we sat to eat our dinner. He was interested in dating black women because then they would take care of his every need. …

Use your 20s to avoid regrets in your 30s.

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“I regret not doing things I should have done in my 20s, Banchi,” my best friend whispered to me on her death bed. Her haunting words were the last words she ever spoke to me.

I didn’t check on her the next day because I was busy at work. I woke up to a dark day on September 22, 2019. When the phone rang, and I answered it, the news I heard was like nothing I’d ever heard before.

I slammed the phone down in shock, and tears rolled down my face. The wave of grief that settled over me was like a cloud threatening to steal every last ounce of oxygen from my lungs. I couldn’t believe it. …

The least you can do for yourself is everything.

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“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” -Rumi

Give your thoughts weight.

Ask yourself,

Who am I? What do I want? What do I like? How do I feel?

Take those answers seriously. Give your thoughts weight. If you are giving the thought of someone you love attention and weight, you sure as hell deserve the same consideration. If not more.

Change the things you tell yourself.

Every time you hear yourself say, I can’t do that, I don’t have that, I’m not good enough, set aside some time to talk to yourself. …

With a narrow focus, it’s easier to gain an insight that you can apply to the big problem.

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Nearly every complex business problem you face can be solved by narrowing your focus.

Example 1:

Big problem: You want to be a good writer.

Small problem: How to write a good sentence.

When you narrow your focus, you get an insight into something you can start practicing. Unlike trying to solve the big problem where you feel like banging your head against a wall, you can do something about the small problem.

In this example, looking for ways and strategies on how to write a good sentence is something you can start practicing. …

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Do you have a plan to fuel your performance both in the workplace and in your personal life? Do you have a goal of accelerating success in all areas of your life?

If so, I want to share simple, yet powerful ideas with you in this article.

I learned from many of my emotional intelligence pieces of training that everything starts with you. No matter what professional field you are in, whether you manage a team of 100 or 10 people, whether you have a large family or a small one, whether you are a man or woman, whether you are young or old, realizing how effective you are at controlling your own emotions is the greatest thing you could do for yourself. …

The most common blind spots in relationships and what you can do about them.

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This guy walked to the bar, ordered a drink, turned, and saw me laughing with my friends. My ex-boyfriend and our mutual friends were drinking beer and listening to Friday night Jazz. The guy did not take his eyes off me. My spine tingled, “Here it comes. My boyfriend is going to hug me tight and tells me I am his alone.”

Like a movie I have seen many times, my boyfriend possessively put his hands around my shoulders and hid my face from the stranger on the bar checking me out. …

8 Takeaways…

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“What is your best life lesson in 2020?” I outsourced this question. I wanted to get the reader’s insight. I wanted to know what my blog readers have learned from this dark year. My email got swamped with responses from all over the world. My youngest subscriber is 21 years old from South Africa. And the oldest is 73 years old from California.

If you are reading this article, we are the lucky ones. This raging virus has killed almost two million people in one year, and the alarming death toll is continuing.

Nothing like a pandemic to teach us valuable lessons that we would not have been able to learn otherwise. …

In the long run, you’ll get a lot farther than if you’d been too scared to face rejections.

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Pushing past her discomfort and getting rejected is the best thing my friend did. She had always wanted to be a great saleswoman. But she was terrified of customers rejecting her sales pitch.

To put this terror behind her, she did a crazy thing…

One day, she decided to go to an upside hotel down the street, one with uniformed doormen and sparkling chandeliers. Dressed in her usual simple top and jeans, she ambled through their beautiful glass doors and asked the man at the front desk,

“Excuse me, sir, do you have any rooms tonight?”

The elegantly dressed man told her rooms were indeed available. “How much are they for the night?” she asked. When he told her 200$, she put on her best smile and asked him if he could let her stay in one of the available rooms for free. …

Lessons from my uncle who died at 53 with only 10 people attending his funeral.

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My uncle hustled, sweated, and drove himself straight into the grave. A complication of hypertension he had for years took his life while he was sleeping. Only 10 people attended his funeral. 10 people who got the hell out of the service the moment his body was buried. And no, it’s not because of COVID safety.

His family and friends did not come to his funeral because of something worse.

Nobody cared enough to say goodbye to my uncle. What would you talk about someone whom you know nothing about? Whom you have not talked to for years? …

Cultivate a habit of impatience about things you most want to do.

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A friend is diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer last week. The rogue cells in her body have become enemies that are eating her body away. She is 33 years old. When a dear friend is fighting for her life, you’re reminded of the fleetingness of life.

Life is short.

And yet, we say these things all the time…

I will leave that job I hate “someday”. I will travel “someday”. I will visit my parents more “someday”. I will rekindle important friendships “someday.” I will start a new blog and share something I’ve been interested in since I was a kid “someday”. …

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