10 Unique Qualities Every Positive Person Should Have
Seeking out Positive People
You and I are not living on an island. We are living together. You can’t say you are a positive person when you have not confronted someone who is entirely negative and come out with your positivity intact.
What helps is having a supporting squad. A squad that lives and breathes positivity. This is where your positivity strengths. This is where you maintain your positivity.
Check out: A positive mindset
Have you heard of the story where a man was very sad because he has lost his shoe? When he was crying and grieving over a lost shoe he met someone who has no feet. And whatever he was feeling disappeared like thin air.
Not because the situation (losing his shoe) has changed. But because the man is now grateful that he has feet to walk on. Because he is reminded of something that he took for granted.
Be grateful. Always.
The fact that you are alive today should be enough. The fact that you are reading today’s post from wherever you are should be a bonus.
Those who do not forgive are carrying heavy burdens. These burdens might be invisible to the human eye but they are heavier than a 5000-pound gorilla.
Hatred, holding grudges, resentment and ill-will are poison. This is not a figure of speech. These feelings demand from you something that affects your immune system and raise your blood pressure.
“Hatred and resentment tether your thoughts and your energy to negative things and steal the light and splendor that is in everything.” Dushka Zapata
Forgiving someone is not a gift to the person who hurt you but rather a gift to yourself. It will set you free.
Check out: Advantages of Forgiveness
Not comparing yourself with others
Every time you are comparing yourself with others — for any reason, you are forgetting the most important person in the equation.
That is you.
You think you are doing something when you spend your precious energy comparing yourself with others but you are just banging your head against a wall. You are not going anywhere. And you are not going to unless you start zooming to your inside.
Every positive person I know is competing against himself — in the sense that they are trying to do a better job today than they did the day before.
Seeing the silver lining in every situation
Expecting the best out of every situation instead of the worst is the best advice I have been given by one of my mentors.
While you are thinking about the worst case scenario, you are forgetting that it is equally possible that the best case scenario could happen.
So why should we make ourselves a victim? Why should we spend our energy trying to see the darkness when with the same amount of energy we can try to see the light?
You cannot say that you are hanging out with your friend when you are immersed in your phone texting the entire time. You were not there for your friend.
You cannot say that you were in a family dinner and have conversations when you were thinking in your own head about anything except the matter that was discussed in the dinner table.
You cannot say you are having conversations with your romantic partner when both of you are looking at the Television. Both of you might be sitting next to each other but you are as far away from each other as the sky is far from the Earth.
There is no active presence when your mind is closed off. Learn to be present by actively listening.
Developing a positive sense of self
No one can give you the one thing that you need the most.
Your positive self.
You might be loved by many people but if you do not love yourself none of that will matter.
What should always come first is you knowing yourself and loving that person with every fiber of your being.
Without this positive sense of self, without self-love, no amount of love from the outside can ever give you love that should have been yours in the first place.
Taking control of your inner voice
Have you ever encountered someone who is extremely negative and he thrives on dumping his attitude on you?
It is not you who is making that person the way he is. It is his inner voice.
Be conscious of your inner voice. There is a silent voice who has the loudest noise in the entire world.
It is silent because you do not hear it like you usually do when someone talks to you or vice versa. But it is there. It is talking to you. It is telling you things — usually about yourself and your shortcomings. It is loud because you listen to every bit of it unconsciously.
Does your inner voice criticize you, put you down? Can you really improve yourself if the enemy is from inside?
Mute that voice. Shut it down.
Don’t personalize ‘No’
Learning not to take things personally is the greatest gift you could give yourself.
There is this thing called ‘Maybe — — ’ in the English Dictionary but we seem to have forgotten its existence.
We take everything personally. We create wars because someone has said ‘No’ to us or we have been denied the thing that we wanted.
Have you ever stopped to think that?
· Maybe your partner is not calling you today because his day has gotten busier than usual.
·Maybe your boss did not say hello to you because he did not see you.
·Maybe you did not get the promotion because you are being considered for something much better.
· Maybe you failed in the business because life is trying to teach you something and you just refuse to listen.
· Maybe — — –
Write down your feelings
Try this exercise with me.
The next time you get angry, write down your feelings without any kind of filter on a notebook or even a journal (if you have one).
After you have written your feelings, try to read what you have written as a third person. You will feel pity for this person who is carrying on all these negative emotions. You will empathize with this person because you feel the pain.
Nothing makes you want to control your thoughts and feelings like writing down what you are feeling. Nothing.
Realizing that you are doing this to yourself is like a shock, a wake-up call. We do not realize that we are killing our cells if we do not see our negative feelings laid out there for all to see.
That is why writing your feelings helps. That is why Therapists tell you in their own words what you already know and you feel better.
Nothing makes you question yourself when you see it right there in front of you.
You will ask yourself as you read:
“Is this what I am feeling?”
“Is this what I am becoming?”
Every time I do that, my anger has left me. It has disappeared without my knowledge.
To Your Inspirations,
Originally published at banchiinspirations.com on April 5, 2019.